Save the Cheerleader, save the world!
Well sod that- in fact screw the world, sod (bugger) the Cheerleader - in the physical sense that is.
Yeah some strange things float my boat and Cheerleaders are one of them.
Every year my job takes me to Florida in the spring - bitch of a job, but someone has got to do it, hey?
And every spring in Florida there is a big Cheerleader competition. So I find myself in a nice hotel that is wall-to-wall with Cheerleaders and Cheerleader moms. Which for a Brit is interesting. Notwithstanding that many of the Cheerleaders are as young as my daughter so do no even make jailbait age. And that their idea of fun of an evening is riding up and down in the lifts (elevators) and thus pissing off the other guests who might actually need the lifts to go somewhere. But there are Cheerleaders of 'legal' age and it is from sharing hot tubs (!!!) from these that I now know more about Cheerleading.
Such as there are two kinds. Now I thought that Cheerleaders led the cheer at sporting events - and waved pom-poms and flashed their knickers in the process. Half right. Yep, that is one of form of cheerleading. There is another kind.
This second kind is like high intensity formation acrobatic dance; it is this form I now know more about - thanks to actually buying an entrance band from a tout I got in to see one of their competitions. Which is pretty awesome (US sic, UK sick). Imagine a three minute routine; it goes by in a blur of flashing strobes and high tempo music where bodies fling themselves in from all directions before arranging themselves into a perilous human pyramid. The smallest, lightest and most dentally refined girl gets to perch right at the top for two seconds before the whole lot collapses to the whooping and applause greeting a successful routine. There is no doubting the skill of the top teams. There is no missing the stoutness of some of the girls on the bottom layer.
My idea(l) of Cheerleaders has always been the one of the pom-pom waving bimbos. I don't know what does it -the short skirts, the tight costumes, the pert arses (asses) - err, come to think of it I know exactly what does it. Yes, I hanker after a Cheerleader. Over 15 yoa please. Which kind of points me in the direction of the US pro (American) football cheerleading squads. Where interestingly I find many of the girls are part way through degrees - so they are bonkable AND smart.
So there it is. Like so many warm blooded losers across the world I have this (not so) secret ambition to spend some quality time peeling a Cheerleader out of her* costume before doing rude things with and to her. How sad can you get?
*I know, there are male Cheerleaders - don't even go there.
P.S. I know that Hayden Panetierre is not a real cheerleader she is an actress, but she can come round my house anytime, providing she brings the costume ;)
