No Hot Ashes

Another New Nikon

2011-07-21T23:21:00.002+01:00

The Nikon D4 is almost upon us. A thing of beauty to be sure. Probably too rich for my blood for a while, but very likely to be in my kit bag by this time next year. Image is of Nikon non-functioning engineering model - ignore the shiny finish.
What I hope it features:
Few more pixels than D3s
About the same low light performance
More weather sealing (is this possible?)
Wi-fi support
High-Eyepoint Viewfinder

What it will have anyway:
Thunderbolt connectivity
Better video

Belgium Connection

2011-06-06T13:50:00.003+01:00

The venue was the Grote Markt, Ieper. The date was the 3rd June 2011. She was tall, slender, heart stopping beautiful in the manner of true, simple beauty. She was wearing a black top, grey/blue jeans, a green headband around her long, curling brown locks. She was half my age. She had sunglasses, but she could not decide if she needed them. She had a phone, which she messaged with of course, and she smoked with her left hand. She sat, not at the brasserie where I sat, the next bar along. Alone, sometimes reading a book Maya (or Mala?). She left before me, paying a call inside first. We passed on the street later as I made to take pictures at the Menin gate. I wanted to speak to her. To ask her if she wanted to be a model. To ask her if she wanted to be my mistress. To ask her if I could watch as she kissed another woman. There was a connection there - I did not photograph her although I could have sneaked a shot. But my heart would ache even more if i had. The moment is lost.

Feeling better abut myself (thank you Trin)

2010-08-18T22:54:00.001+01:00

Kiva
Kiva
Kiva
spare money - don't blow it on shit you don't need
don't hoard it
put it in Kiva - do some good with it
I did
I feel better about myself

Dr David Banner

2010-03-11T23:35:00.003Z

You know, you may have noticed from posts ibid that my green credentials are somewhat brown and sooty. I was one who pointed to the flaws in the 'Global Warming' story long before the hack that exposed the dubious practices of the so called climate experts. I fail to see how trading in my ten year old gas guzzler for a new eco piss ant plastic and glass bubble will really help the environment - once a full environmental impact study of the making of the little car and disposing of mine is taken into account. In short I am not the idiot the government was looking for.

So sit down - I am going to surprise you. I have just bought into rechargeable batteries (electrical cells) in a big way. Thanks to a tip on t'internet I will be running my camera and flash on rechargeable batteries from now on.

Now actually my camera already uses rechargeable batteries - special Nikon ones that cost quite a lot unless you buy them from Hong Kong. They are good and I am not about to throw them away, but since they cost so much I don't have spares. I don't have spares for another reason - the batteries are Lithium Ion and lose their capacity over time regardless of whether you use them or not. I know an unused spare tyre can rot on its mount- but not as quickly as a Lithium Ion cell; a spare Lithium Ion cell is only worth having if you regularly need it; I don't.

Up until now I have carried disposable Lithium AA cells as a back-up (they also work better in extreme cold). I have two AA cell carriers for my camera battery pack and occasionally I raid one to replenish my SB800 flash gun. Which is good except the flash does not really like Lithiums - and they get very hot in use. But when my current set of AA Lithiums are done there will be no more. Because NiMH rechargeable has got better (in fact it did so about two years ago, but I'm a little slow).

New rechargeable AA cells (Eneloop etc.) differ fundamentally from their predecessors in that they don't go flat just sitting waiting to be used; actually they do, but in about the same time period as a conventional disposable cell. Which means I am happy to carry them in my bag. It gets better - my camera achieves its highest frame rate running AA cells and NOT the fancy Nikon batteries. It gets better yet - my flash recycles faster with rechargeable AA cells. It gets even even better yet (yet?) - the charger is comparatively cheap and small and flat so easier to pack for travel and less of a financial hit if I leave it in a hotel room. So traveling abroad I can now take two charged Nikon batteries and when they done switch to rechargeable AAs. Two sets of Eneloops means one can charge overnight, and the cells go in everything (and a cell filled charger can even act as a usb charger for my iPhone). Thank you internet - this is a tip I have followed and am happy to pass on.

Grey (gray) elephant in the room?

2009-10-29T22:36:00.005Z

Just because I left my house unlocked does not give you the right to walk in and look around. You are committing the civil offence of trespass. Provided you break or take nothing that is not a serious crime although I may be understandably jolly cross you came in uninvited.

Instead of a house let us talk IT systems; specifically let us talk U.S. defence (defense) and space agency IT systems. Systems you might reasonably expect to be quite secure. Not least, that if certain credible sources are to be believed, these systems are being probed and attacked every minute of every day. Culprits may include Chinese and Russian intelligence gathering operations, muslim radicals usw.

With all this going on who does the U.S. choose to pursue with extreme vigour for infiltrating their IT systems? Gary McKinnon, a British loner with Asperger's syndrome, who was, reputedly, searching for information on the U.S. government's knowledge of sentient extraterrestrials and their respective technologies. Given everything else going on in the world why would the U.S. Government be so keen to dissuade citizens of the world from seeking the 'truth' about UFOs and 'aliens'? And why aren't the world's press asking that bloody obvious question?

Where next?

2009-10-01T23:48:00.000+01:00

Summer in the Yukon

2009-08-15T11:47:00.005+01:00

You know how it is. You finally wear out the tape and think I really should get this on iTunes. Except it isn't there. So you track down a second hand CD and load it onto iTunes. No artwork. No artwork anywhere on the web apparently. There is now! Jane Siberry's "Summer in the Yukon" album exclusive to the UK. I have violated somebody's copyright - but only at 200x200 pixels.

A new thing of beauty

2009-07-05T00:03:00.004+01:00

They say you never appreciate something until it is gone. And so it is with the action finder. For those who are not pro or semi-pro photographers those two words will be a mystery. What an "action finder" was was (sic) a specialist pentaprism finder for SLRs that allowed the focusing screen to be viewed some way back from the eyepiece window. Now by someway I don't mean metres - say 50 mm versus the normal <20 mm ...ish. Very good if you are wearing eyeglasses or safety goggles and if things are bouncing around a bit. Now action finders were expensive kit and I doubt many were sold. Not many photographers have ever needed one. These days DSLRs offer nominally the same capability with a live viewing mode - the reflex mirror from which the SLR gets its name is locked up and a subsampled view of the image formed on the chip is displayed on the LCD on the back of the camera. But LCD panels use power that action finders didn't and they disturb the viewfinder centric ergonomics. We get into camera phone territory when the picture taker is holding the camera away at arm's length rather than neatly, squarely, tightly to one eye.
The halfway twix the action finder and a conventional SLR viewfinder was the so called High eyePoint or HP finder. This offered a viewing distance of around 25 mm. If we can't have action finders back could we at least get HP finders. Here is a challenge to Nikon - want to make everyone talk about the D700x when it arrives? Forget the HD video mode - if I want a video camera I'll buy one. Yes, more pixels, take that as read, but NOT at the expense of frame rate - no worse than the D3x thank you. If you really want to blow peoples socks off get them from the left field. Get the real photographers smiling and nodding in agreement. Give us the D700x-HP. Make an already superb interface just that tad brilliant and prepare to make a lot of them.

All children, except one, grow up

2009-06-26T23:02:00.003+01:00

and he died yesterday in Los Angeles.

There are predictions and there is precognition. Sometimes the latter is known as the gift. It is not one that you should wish for.

People without time (They made me do it)

2009-05-23T22:55:00.003+01:00

Dr. Who, Donnie Darko, Quantum Leap, Time Tunnel. What do we understand by this? There is a certain fascination in the concept of time travel. Of course time travel is not as easy as the movies or authors sometimes portray it. For one thing there is the problem of your frame of reference. The earth is spinning on its access, falling about a distant start in the outer reaches of the Milky Way in an ever expanding (or so it seems) universe. So if you time travel for even a second who is to say you will not end up in Earth's molten core or the cold vacuum of space? NICE!
No one with any intelligence is inclined to believe in things until they experience them for themselves. This is a good trait. It tends to mean intelligent humans survive. You might not believe in ghosts - you will if you ever see one for yourself. Believe me - or not!!
So is time linear? Or is the reality of space/time somehow twisted in ways our puny human minds can barely conceive? What do we take as evidence of time being not so simple as we perhaps we thought? Predictions, where uncannily accurate, would seem to be evidence of something not quite right. If time is linear how can any of us peer into an unknown future? If we can, to what benefit? If we see something we do not like can we prevent it .. or does the sight of it mean it is as inevitable as the past is past?
I suspect at this point you thinking great, play with words, but do you have a point? Yes, I do. Forget the thought exercise how about a prediction - a nice detailed prediction - one that extrapolation could not possibly explain. Chance? Well there is always chance. James Randi, et al, take out Occams razor on the following: this prediction is made Sat 23 May 2009 that on or about 26th June 2009 a famous (possibly the most famous) and somewhat controversial singer/performer will die way before his time.

It sucks being President

2009-04-11T00:09:00.003+01:00

Okay, by now the plans are drawn up, the options are on the table. The French tried it earlier and ended up with one dead hostage -with several very much alive. That looks like a good outcome and its upping the ante. Assuming you'll hit at the lowest hour we should all know what the President said in about four hours time. My guess is the Seals will take out the watch - all swift and silent like, and come on board. They have a choice - explosive entry: frame charge and/or stun grenades -or try to stay silent - NVGs, lasers, suppressed weapons. Either way the goal is to get one hostage out alive - the only one. If his captors die in the process - well so much the better. The 'maximum safety' option - 'they' should have gone somewhere else this morning - done something else for a living. Mess with the best - die like the rest. It is an important message, it is also a hell of a responsibility on the Seal team leader, his commander, and his commander in chief. One of the ideas behind elite forces is sheer wow factor. Bit of mystic, fearsome reputation, get it right it should be enough for the BGs to know you've left barracks. Brown trowser time, negotiations get realistic, people come out waving white flags. Unfortunately it takes a lot to impress these Somali boys. Wasn't it the US who bugged out sharpish shortly after that Black Hawk down incident? Somalia is a shite hole, sorry 'failed nation', no law worthy of the name. It you have nothing to lose, lots of wonga to gain, and, more worryingly, a track record of winning ..well worth a punt isn't it? I don't hold out much hope for negotiation, I put my trust in low penetration 9 mm ammunition. But then I was never likely to be a politician, I was the schmuck with the silenced MP5 waiting on the decision. Go Seals - for the sake of us all.

P.S. Am I the only who cannot resist crying "Arrrrrr!" every time the word Pirate is mentioned on the news?

Today's word is..

2009-02-07T00:12:00.000Z

hiny

Sentiment Darling, Sentiment

2009-02-02T23:07:00.003Z

Lyrics: Whole Lotta Love

You need coolin', baby, I'm not foolin',
I'm gonna send you back to schoolin',
Way down inside honey, you need it,
I'm gonna give you my love,
I'm gonna give you my love.

[Chorus]
Wanna Whole Lotta Love [X4]

You've been learnin', baby, I bean learnin',
All them good times, baby, baby, I've been yearnin',
Way, way down inside honey, you need it,
I'm gonna give you my love... I'm gonna give you my love.

[Chorus]

You've been coolin', baby, I've been droolin',
All the good times I've been misusin',
Way, way down inside, I'm gonna give you my love,
I'm gonna give you every inch of my love,
Gonna give you my love.

[Chorus]

Way down inside... woman... You need... love.

Shake for me, girl. I wanna be your backdoor man.
Keep it coolin', baby.

I'll protect you from the hooded claw,..

2008-11-15T00:54:00.003Z

..keep the vampires from your door

So Frankie said, in the days before Holly became HIV positive. This evening I heard a posh version, sung in Italian by a male classical quartet. It was good enough, but synapses fired in my head. I knew the lyrics, the english lyrics, without having to look them up. Once upon a time this song reverberated near constantly in shared house and was played until the record (yes, a vinyl record) wore out. Gay or straight Frankie had a appeal beyond the manufactured gloss - disco (well strictly HiNRG) but with a trite message and expansive production values. Not much from that era has aged well, IMAO, but Frankie, well especially 'The Power of Love' - it still stirs.

And you thought I didn't have a soul.

I break Crumplers

2008-09-21T23:50:00.003+01:00

Only as a consequence of being with me - not that I am deliberately setting out to break them - the contents are too valuable for that!
So what to do? Not another Crumpler - sorry, good, but not brilliant. Main gripe is lack of compression straps as closure backup coupled to too much stress on the main zipper. Overload? Who me? - well if it fitted in then it gets carried. Zippers were not up to it -I don't get surprised when a tab breaks off - do get annoyed when the top of the slider comes away. That is not acceptable - playing havoc with my nails! Now the stiffening panel is coming through the back padding; time to retire it.
Alternatives - well spent some time reading up on-line reviews. WTF is the point of writing a review the first day you own something - unless it arrived broken. Oooh, look a shiny thing! Tell me if it still works two years down the line when the shine has gone. I write fair reviews - I praise when praise is due and damn when damnation is deserved. I will not damn Crumpler - not a lifetime purchase, but put up with several years of my life and faired fairly well.
Problem - what to replace it with? Now, in depth reviews indicate that the obvious are not the necessarily the best. Doing what I do for a living I could pick up something SOF Spec with all the problems of getting GSA stuff into the UK. Except the only thing designed for my purposes would cost $500 (or over $600 if I added extra carry pouches and a hydration bladder). And it was not carry-on size even without the pouches and bladder. So I have just ordered something really cheap and reviewed well-$120 vs. $630!
I'll see how Tamrac fairs for now - if it does not work out there is always FPED - and I'll see if Diamondback Tactical will give me show discount on that $630.

3 legs are better than 2 ..or never happy

2008-09-12T00:51:00.003+01:00

Someone said diamonds are only lumps of coal that stuck at it. However, however persistent, even diamonds are NOT forever.

This week I replaced my travel tripod. Actually I sort of replaced it about 3 months ago - twice.

The skinny: a long time ago when I switched from Canon to Nikon pro gear a Nikon rep gave me a Nikon 'flying ducks' camera strap and a Nikon branded tripod. The tripod had a bog standard PT head, was a mix of plastic and metal and nothing outstanding - really the sort of thing you'd put a camcorder, not a pro SLR, on. But it was a) free b) a lot smaller and lighter than my Manfrotto 055 with Kirk ballhead. So it became my travel tripod riding in my suitcase everywhere I went. It was a lot, lot better than no tripod when a tripod was required. Until about 4 months ago when it finally gave up the ghost - it was old and all materials give out eventually.

I thought maybe it was time to get a proper travel tripod. Which means time to get a Gitzo, because everyone knows Gitzos are the very best travel tripods. However, Gitzos are very expensive - some would say priced appropriately - but IMVAO overpriced in comparison to the competition.

So I bought a Benro - which is a sort of Chinese clone of an older Gitzo range with some added features. It was good value for money BUT the one shipped did not have the features advertised on the website. It seems Benro update products without updating their names. Unfortunately the missing features were the clinchers - so it went back to the supplier. The same supplier who was unaware of the difference and not expecting any new stock for a while.

With a vacation looming I had to act quickly so I bid a ridiculously low price for a brand new and similar Giotto tripod on eBay. I won. The tripod arrived and had all the features I was looking for. It is light in comparison to the Manfrotto yet nearly as tall and can take the full weight of a pro digital SLR, flash and 18-200 zoom.. and the Kirk BH-1 ballhead. It folds smaller than the Nikon it replaced.

Wonderful! Except the night I attached my ballhead it tore the mounting thread right off the top plate. The problem was in order to accommodate both large (3/8) and small (1/4) whitworth tripod threads Giotto designed a cunning spring loaded scheme where the larger thread forms a sheath around the smaller. Not actually a clever thing to do. I managed to get the broken thread out of the ballhead (phew!) and attached to the tripod using a tripod bush adapter from my field fix kit. So everything okay ...ish.

I took the tripod on vacation and it performed flawlessly. At one point it was even stood in the foam on the edge of the sea as I took some shots of a distant town over the frothy ocean. It was everything I needed from a travel tripod and it had liberated the Kirk head from spending too long under the stairs.

Whilst I was away Giotto replied to my email complaining of the flaw in an otherwise near perfect tripod. They gave me the details of their UK distributor, Daymen. This week Daymen came through by replacing the centre column of the tripod with one that has a solid 3/8 thread. I am a very happy bunny. Top marks to Giotto for answering emails from half way round the world. Top marks for Daymen for standing by their products.

Yesterday my Crumpler photo/laptop finally reached its last legs after 3 years sterling service (it has gone everywhere I have been). Anyone got any recommendations for a replacement?

Old and venerable enemy

2008-04-13T17:08:00.004+01:00

A black dog stalks the halls and passageways. He is here to see me. He is no threat to my life, though he once was. These days his visits are mercifully infrequent. I sense his approach for many days so that his arrival is not a tsunami of despair, but more gently lapping waves of apathy and neurotic uncertainty. If he were to trouble me greatly there are some tablets that could put him, not me, to sleep. However, I prefer to ride out his company, let him bide awhile at my side. He will stay, even in a room full of people, determined to make his presence felt. Then, in few hours or a few days, he will slip quietly away. The sun will shine just that bit brighter, the birds sing that bit louder. For however much I hate that dog, he belongs to me, he is my burden and as burdens go he is not that heavy. Many of you, some my friends, carry far heavier burdens. So when my dog and I sit quietly together in the inky stillness I will be thinking of you and wishing you well. My troubles are light in comparison.

Range Therapy

2008-03-22T21:37:00.004Z

We all need something that absorbs us now and again. A diversion, an escape from the stresses of life . Okay you may surf or you may bake (and if you are one of my existing friends you probably have kink). Me, well apart from THAT I shoot. Well, I used to, quite frequently. Then the British Government lost the plot - and took all the guns away- and have not found that plot since, despite a huge RISE in gun crime. So opportunities to shoot are few and far between these days.

One of the stands at DSEi used to let you put a few rounds of training ammunition through a modern military firearm - the government have stopped that too - because they are mad as seven badgers. So now it is down to visits to friendly military bases or trips abroad. Like last week. So, the smell of cordite, the clunky mechanical feel, the ring of ejecting brass, the concentration of keeping shots on target. Therapeutic, range therapy. 100 rounds of 9mm through a rather dry and well worn MP5.

Sorry for the quality of the picture, phone, indoors, no flash, range owner with shakey hands. Taken to wind a mate up - we used to spend Sunday mornings scaring cardboard together - he is the guy who taught me practical pistol - and we have been some interesting scrapes around the world together. He saw his beloved collection of weapons taken away by the Police when the law went screwy. He always takes the piss I am off to Florida - accuses me of going soft in my old age. Sir is not soft - as someone once said of me 'beneath that warm exterior beats a heart of stone'.

Oh, and for those who have not seen me in a while, yeah I need to lose at least one and half stone. Someone give me a good reason and an extra day in the week.

Get a bloody move on

2008-01-23T23:34:00.000Z

Some things governments choose to never adequately explain. In the Ordovician period of the Paleozoic era, the Earth was in an ice age with atmospheric CO2 estimated at 4400ppm (or 0.44% of the atmosphere). So why exactly is this government and others obsessed with carbon footprints? Why exactly? The temperature of the earth fluctuates quite alarmingly, but over fairly long cycles. The climate is changing at the moment. This may turn out to be a global warming. Now in some scientific circles Earth is viewed as being in an ice age when it has polar caps. Could be we are just leaving an ice age. Bad news for polar bears and penguins. Bad news for London, New York, Sydney and a host of low lying islands. If you think carbon taxes are the answer to this - well you probably believe in God and the tooth fairy as well.

I was never one for believing in global conspiracies. For one thing governments are just never that organized. So what the fuck is going on? Well, there is such a thing as collective stupidity. And there is such a thing as opportunistic expediency. HINT

So I am one of those denying global warming? Er, no, re-read what I wrote above. Be careful people, be very careful in what you allow yourselves to believe, or be told to believe.

So, the price of fish? Well actually I want to talk about 4x4s/SUVs. Now in the eyes of some of the more extreme environmental lobby these are the devil's wheels. Forget actually there are other cars on the roads which cause more pollution including emitting more CO2. Forget that the environmental impact of building, running and (crucially) disposing of an electric car is FAR worse.

Look up the Jeep Wrangler on the web. Specifically look up the report from a U.S. think-tank that uses it as an illustration of a GREEN car. Provocative? Tongue-in-cheek? I drive a Jeep Wrangler. I don't think it is very green. About the only good thing I can say about my current Jeep is that is more fuel efficient (by about 20%) than my last. But a tank of petrol (gas) still costs me over £60 ($120) and it does not go that far (typically ~240 miles).

Cars could have been made more efficient for a long time. But there has not been much impetus in the car industry - and some industries, like the petroleum industry, have been all too pleased about that.

In a couple of years I am going to replace this Wrangler. My requirements will not have changed. I need an optionally open topped vehicle at least as off-road capable as an unladen snatch Land Rover, but comfortable enough for motorway commutes and smart enough not to look out of place in Islington. It will need a hi/lo box, at least 31" tyres, full size self-recovery winch, excellent articulation including sway disconnects, and off-road final ratio (I'll live with a bigger bill on motorways if necessary).

So at the Detroit Motor Show I see some promise; about bloody time! Hummer HX Concept - nice, if a little of a style crib from the 2006 Jeep Hurricane Concept. At least it has four seats (or more cargo space). Looks like a proper drive set up, good ground clearance, proper articulation. Don't know about the multi-fuel engine though. Is biofuel (E85) really that beneficial to the environment? - a lot of people seem to suggest not. But it is a start and compared to earlier Hummers I would say at least G.M. are listening at last.

And then there is the Jeep Renegade Concept. True hybrid electric drive although only axle motors rather than General Dynamics Shadow's smarter (although I expect more expensive) hub motors. 120 mpg - and those are American gallons; this looks good, but chopping out two seats, the spare? you're gonna save weight anyway. I like the idea of greatly improved fuel economy. I wonder about the lithium battery life (and safe disposal) - NASA is looking at storage capacitance to replace rechargeable batteries - so should the car industry. And axle articulation? I see no mention or pictures of a raisable suspension - it will need one if it is to match a Wrangler Rubicon. Put that technology in a smoothed off Wrangler Rubicon - maybe even an Unlimited Rubicon - I'll buy it.

G.M., Jeep maybe even Land Rover - anyone listening?

Fire in the hole!

2007-12-22T02:00:00.000Z

Yes, I did it and I did it early. No more swan song or hissy fits. Squeeze the handle, pull the pin and toss. Various Inc trumpeting its acquisition by Penthouse. Well the biggest sucker here is Penthouse - hope they've got a lot of roses because they sure bought one huge pile of shit - at least IMAO. But I said I would put no more good money after bad and I meant it. All those blogs - tears in rain. A few of my friends are still active - some are on here. Sorry to those who did not pay enough attention to posts to get contact details - but then you may never read this. My name lives on HornyMatches and Collarme. Any similar name appearing on TLA is not me - unless you hear otherwise on here. Then there is alt_sps on Yahoo and Sir PS on Yahoo! 360

Santa Monica Pier 12.07.07

2007-12-13T00:25:00.000Z

Capturing the moment

A couple of young women (most likely on a date?) embarrassed at being serenaded by the Mexican Mariachi singers at Mariasol on the end of Santa Monica pier. Happy to have their picture taken, but they left without leaving me with a means of getting it to them. (Not bad for a phone cam!) Photo taken by one of the two Englishmen* getting progressively pissed (wrecked) sat next to them.

Now the international challenge - if you know a girl who lives in, or is visiting, Santa Monica and may be one of the two in the photo time to send her to this site. Suggest this request goes out to the lesbian and bi community, and apologies if they are just friends.

I will happily send a full size unblocked version to either or both (and transfer copyright). How will I know if it is one of the two? - I suggested something (not at all rude) which they did not follow up on - only they can know!!

*Sworn national duty - we were drinking till 02.45 the next day when the Viceroy kicks out!

Cheerleaders

2007-10-28T00:40:00.000+01:00

Save the Cheerleader, save the world!
Well sod that- in fact screw the world, sod (bugger) the Cheerleader - in the physical sense that is.
Yeah some strange things float my boat and Cheerleaders are one of them.
Every year my job takes me to Florida in the spring - bitch of a job, but someone has got to do it, hey?
And every spring in Florida there is a big Cheerleader competition. So I find myself in a nice hotel that is wall-to-wall with Cheerleaders and Cheerleader moms. Which for a Brit is interesting. Notwithstanding that many of the Cheerleaders are as young as my daughter so do no even make jailbait age. And that their idea of fun of an evening is riding up and down in the lifts (elevators) and thus pissing off the other guests who might actually need the lifts to go somewhere. But there are Cheerleaders of 'legal' age and it is from sharing hot tubs (!!!) from these that I now know more about Cheerleading.
Such as there are two kinds. Now I thought that Cheerleaders led the cheer at sporting events - and waved pom-poms and flashed their knickers in the process. Half right. Yep, that is one of form of cheerleading. There is another kind.

This second kind is like high intensity formation acrobatic dance; it is this form I now know more about - thanks to actually buying an entrance band from a tout I got in to see one of their competitions. Which is pretty awesome (US sic, UK sick). Imagine a three minute routine; it goes by in a blur of flashing strobes and high tempo music where bodies fling themselves in from all directions before arranging themselves into a perilous human pyramid. The smallest, lightest and most dentally refined girl gets to perch right at the top for two seconds before the whole lot collapses to the whooping and applause greeting a successful routine. There is no doubting the skill of the top teams. There is no missing the stoutness of some of the girls on the bottom layer.
My idea(l) of Cheerleaders has always been the one of the pom-pom waving bimbos. I don't know what does it -the short skirts, the tight costumes, the pert arses (asses) - err, come to think of it I know exactly what does it. Yes, I hanker after a Cheerleader. Over 15 yoa please. Which kind of points me in the direction of the US pro (American) football cheerleading squads. Where interestingly I find many of the girls are part way through degrees - so they are bonkable AND smart.
So there it is. Like so many warm blooded losers across the world I have this (not so) secret ambition to spend some quality time peeling a Cheerleader out of her* costume before doing rude things with and to her. How sad can you get?

*I know, there are male Cheerleaders - don't even go there.
P.S. I know that Hayden Panetierre is not a real cheerleader she is an actress, but she can come round my house anytime, providing she brings the costume ;)

dee three

2007-09-03T19:15:00.000+01:00

Bokeh - an anglicized version of the Japanese word 'Boke' altered to aid correct English pronunciation. 'Boke' means fuzzy, simple, or, as an insult, senile. Boke, and laterly Bokeh, have been appropriated by photographers to refer to the out of focus elements of a photograph. See wikipedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bokeh for a detailed explanation.

Photographers tend to favour bokeh that mimics the appearance of out-of-focus elements in our own vision. Ironically, because of the rapid manner in which our own eyes quickly refocus it is normally only possible to 'see' human bokeh in extreme close-up, or if you are short or longsighted.

Bokeh can be used to dramatic effect to isolate the subject of a photograph from the background (and/or foreground) - so called 'selective focus'. At least it used to be, because with modern digital cameras it is harder to actually render elements of the scene out-of-focus. Two factors make this so -
1. Many, in fact most, digital cameras have imaging sensors that have smaller areas than their film predecessors.
2. Many lenses for digital cameras have smaller maximum apertures than their film lens predecessors.

Now the depth of field, that is the volume in front of the lens in which objects appear to be within acceptable focus, is dependent on three things: the range to the subject in focus, the focal length of the lens, and the lens aperture.

Range affects depth of field in a reciprocal manner - the closer the subject is to the lens the shallower the depth of field for any given aperture.

The focal length of the lens determines the angle of coverage of the lens - a long focal length covers a narrower angle than a shorter one.

Aperture is normally perceived as the photographer's tool for controlling depth of field - a small aperture yields a larger depth of field, and a large one the reverse. Beyond a certain point a decreasing aperture will actually decrease apparent sharpness, but this is because the effects of diffraction start to dominate the recorded signal.

The aperture, of course, is also one of the three primary means for governing image exposure, the others being shutter speed and film, or its electronic equivalent, sensitivity (I am neglecting filters for the moment).

Now let us say we are going to shoot a full length portrait at typical distance from the subject say 10ft/3m. We are going to use a conventional 35 mm film camera with a 50 mm lens. We want sufficient depth of field that our subject, striking a dramatic pose, is all in focus, but that the garden behind them is rendered in dramatic blur. So we chose an wide-ish aperture of f/4.0. Let us use a circle of confusion criterion, COC=1/(1300/d), where d is image diagonal in mm, to determine acceptable focus in the final print. Off to do some sums. At this distance, with these settings, our depth of field would extend from approximately 2.5m to 3.6m in front of the camera.

Let us switch to a digital camera, specifically the Nikon D200 (my digital camera). In order to match the angle of view of our film camera we must use a focal length of 33mm. This is because the DX format sensor of the D200 is smaller than a 35mm film frame. With all other conditions being the same the depth of field now extends from approximately 2.4m to 4m. In other words our depth of field has extended by 0.5m. Or, to put it another way, to match our 35mm camera in depth of field we would have to open up to f/2.8. Which is okay except that many of the DX format lenses made for the D200 and its ilk don't go as wide as f/2.8.

Now couple to this to the fact that a smaller sensor means a smaller pentaprism and a smaller viewfinder view and you can see that DX format digital cameras and similar from Canon, Olympus etc. have some drawbacks. They have some benefits also - the 'magnifier' effect on the focal length means sports and wildlife photographers are happy.

For me the D200 is a mixed bag. It has a grid in the viewfinder, but I struggle to find and maintain horizons in the titchy viewfinder. Which means I am frequently rotating and cropping post capture. Its pictures are good - very good - the colours appear true and there are plenty of options to tune them. Resolution matches all but the very, very finest 35mm film. Exposure noise (grain) at the equivalent of ISO1600 is no worse than a 1600ASA print film in the mid-1980s. Build quality is close to my old F5. And I love digital - I take more pictures and I can check them in the field.

So what would be my perfect camera? It would be digital, but with a bigger viewfinder (maybe even an electronic level?). Its high ISO performance could match late 90's film (or even better it). And build quality would equal (or better) my F5. And I'd still like to be able to use my 18-200 VR zoom when I want to travel light.

Nikon, I'm gonna cite you in the inevitable divorce papers.

Sell your photos online

Spectacle

2007-03-06T22:32:00.000Z

Okay I did not see my usual ration of television on Saturday evening. Nor did I consume my usual amount of alcohol. No, I was out in the cold with a couple of thousand dollars of camera equipment pointing skyward in order to catch the lunar eclipse. Not the first lunar eclipse I have witnessed, but a very good one 'seeing' wise.

I have also been lucky enough to see a total solar eclipse (France, 1999) - an altogether more frantic affair especially if you are attempting to photo-document it. If you are lucky enough to catch a solar eclipse take a tip - either do not be the photographer or take a moment, mid-totality, to lift your eye from the viewfinder and look around - to see the sky dark above you, but light toward the horizons - see the blackness of the hole in the middle of the sun's disc like a polo mint (or lifesaver) in the sky. Witness the confused behavior of birds and other animals. Sometimes photographers can become too detached - don't get so obsessed with recording that you were there that you actually might as well not have been.

But back to Saturday's eclipse. It was decidedly more leasurely than France. Totality lasted over an hour - the image you see here is the mean of a 'stack' of four successive images taken just after the start of totality.

The moon moves quite fast, especially in the viewfinder of a camera attached to a 1m Maksutov Cassegrain. I lack the fancy electronics to track the moon automatically, and the reduction of light during totality and hence slow shutter speed, mean the actual image of the moon cannot be as sharp as the Mak could manage. A series of relatively short images means the moon does not get too smeared - however the higher sensivity required (ISO Equivalent 320 - uncooled Nikon DSLR) means noticeable noise. Averaging the images together goes someway to reducing this noise and bringing out both lunar surface features and the incredible colours easily visible to the naked eye.

So here it is - for those of unfortunate enough to live the wrong side of the world (this time) or who needed their beauty sleep. Enjoy.

A MESSAGE TO THE FUTURE ON TIME TRAVEL

2007-02-20T00:01:00.001Z

So are you an electronic archeologist? Have you uncovered this message after hundreds of years of it being lost in electronic limbo. Have you succeeded in deciphering this ancient English dialect? Well done! Pleased to greet you. If mankind, or whatever replaced it, has conquered time travel I would love to say hi in person.

The Accidental Racist

2007-02-12T23:34:00.000Z

Racism has been big news in the UK recently. People all over the world, but particularly the Indian sub-continent, getting upset over the perceived racist behavior of Jade Goody.

My own opinion, gleaned from the few editted low lights I have seen, is that Ms Goody's behavior was probably not, on balance, overtly racist. Not that I condone her behavior - she appeared to be an ignorant, vindictive bully. She is a member of a substrata of society these days termed 'chav' - a group of individuals perhaps best recognised by their propensity to wallow in their own ignorance - as if stupidity and foul manners are qualities in which one can take pride.

The racist slur though, is altogether more serious. One can be stupid and ignorant - in fact, barring a few world leading professors and autistic savantes, we all to some extent must be. To be a racist though is bad. At least a conscious racist.

But how many of us are unconscious racists? Accidently excluding from our lives people not in our own racial category.

I like to think of myself as 'colour blind' - not literally, but in the metaphorical sense that race is not an issue to me. Indeed, on the face of it, my life would seem to reflect this - my best friend for 35 years and counting is a different skin tone to me. I went to university in a highly multi-cultural city. I had neighbours of Indian and Pakistani descent - I could choose to eat Indian, Chinese, or Caribbean food of an evening. I never thought anything less of the people around me because of their skin tone - in fact it rarely registered.

But these days I see young black men on the streets of London, speaking an almost unintelligible dialect, behaving in an assertive and aggressive fashion, and I resent their presence. They do not belong in my England. Maybe this is an excusable reaction - it is their behavior and their alien communication that marks them out; their skin colour is incidental to my unease although it maybe the very reason they feel the need to behave in this 'unBritish' manner as an assertion of their own identity.

But maybe more telling is my friend network in that other place. No blacks, no asians! I partly redeem myself with one Hispanic and one Irish (do Leipreachán count?). Now I did not set out with a deliberate policy - this is just the current manefestation of two and half years of churn. But maybe it is telling all the same. Not that I will be introducing positive discrimination - two wrongs do not make a right.

P.S. Appology to Ms Goody - I have made a crude attempt in the image at altering her racial origin to the Indian subcontinent. I believe in fact that she is half Afro-carribean.

Tits, Ass and Cuteness

2006-12-09T23:55:00.000Z

Cute & Small Boobs

Raw score: 29% Big Breasts, 54% Big Ass, and 64% Cute!

Thanks for taking the T and A and C test! Based on your selections, the results are clear: you show an attraction to smaller breasts, larger asses, and sexier composure than others who've taken the test.

Note that because you scored small on breasts but large on ass size, it might appear you like girls bottom heavy. That's probably not the case. What's more likely is that you notice curvy, voluptuous butts, and you don't like big, fake boobs. Big real boobs are even worse because of the sag.

Anyway, my third variable, "cuteness" is a mostly objective measure of how innocent a given model looked. It's determined by a combination of a lot of factors: lack of dark eye makeup, facial expression, posture, etc. If you scored high on that variable, you are either really nice OR you're into deflowering teens. If you scored low, you are attracted to raunchier, sexier, women. In your case, your higher than average score suggests you appreciate a cuter, nicer look. Kudos!

Recommended Celebrity: Hilary Duff, because she is the ultimate in cute! Especially since she lost that baby fat!

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 10% on tit-size
You scored higher than 61% on ass-size
You scored higher than 72% on cuteness

Link: The Tits, Ass, and Cuteness Test written by chicken_pot_pie on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

....or does this just indicate how I would like to deflower cute teens?

Veggieburgers

2006-05-15T21:39:00.000+01:00

make with 100% ground vegetarians

Should I say sorry to my "grass eating" friends in advance? I open my mouth, I look in the mirror, I see the teeth of an omnivore, I see no reason to fly in the face of nature. Besides, if we are not supposed to eat animals why do they taste so good?

I was a vegetarian for a while. Actually about a year before the BSE scandal broke. When my mum (RIP) tipped me off that doctors were warning there was something wrong in the food chain. Government strangely silent - sitting on the story - c*nts.

I discovered Indian food (lots of it vegetarian - and it tastes good). I still have my free Hare Krishna cook book - and it comes out from time to time; I said omnivore, not carnivore.

BUT this is an article every vegetarian should read (even if only to take vehement offence to):
http://www.hyperactive-stage.co.uk/blog/comments.asp?ref=196

Now read why I especially think you should read it (and it has nothing to do with what you choose to eat):
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/05/12/newcastle_veggie_site/

Don't like criticism of your beliefs? Lack the wit to enter into reasoned debate? Censorship - you know it makes sense.

For Trinity

2006-05-07T23:32:00.000+01:00

If she finds it. Answering a question from elsewhere. Because the answer is more appropriate here.

Killing me softly

2006-05-02T00:16:00.000+01:00

I do not believe in one God or several. Keeping it scientific if God wishes to make him/herself/themselves known by fiery chariot or email I am prepared to reconsider.

However, if there is a God then I imagine that in October 2004 ‘they’ needed a night out at the pub with some good company. Writer, broadcaster, and comedian Pete McCarthy (of McCarthy’s Bar) sadly departed this world. He was followed closely by John Peel – writer, broadcaster, DJ and champion of many an aspiring band who went on to be big (and many that didn’t). Both men are fondly remembered and sadly missed by many people who never met them, but who held them dear (and felt they knew them) through their public works.

I never met Pete or John, but I would have liked to. There is one person still living for whom I have a similar longing to meet: 'Mil' Millington. For those who have not come across him can I direct you to the website that has made him famous. Before I do can I also suggest that if your bladder is in anyway full that you empty it first – for your own safety, that of your clothing and furniture.

The website, about Englishman Mil and his long suffering relationship with his German girlfriend Margret, is www.thingsmygirlfriendandihavearguedabout.com. It is well known, it has been around a while – Mil has written three books on the back of its fame.

Why this site and its author are particularly resonant with me:
a) Long ago I had a strident, vociferous and cute (in a moody sort of way) German girlfriend (she is now married and living in Australia – not that I am stalking her or anything – I am also married and not living in Australia)
b) My wife and I argue in similar ways although sadly I am probably veer closer to Margret in terms of behaviour
c) I used to work in IT
d) I used to live in Wolverhampton (Go Wolves!)

Now I shall probably never meet Mil (unless he frequents Asda at lunchtimes on Saturdays that Wolves play at home), but I would like to. Just to say how much I enjoy his humour, his observation, that is 'so' like me. But isn’t that key to every great observational comic, jounalist, travel writer? To highlight the absurd, render the real surreal. Find that essence with which we can all identify – to reflect the common idiosyncrasies that bind all humanity.

Pete, John -RIP. Mil – more power to your elbow. Margret – keep him in check.

Remiss

2006-04-23T10:17:00.000+01:00

I am just not getting the hang of this. I started blogging in the other place and still instinctively blog there. Except that some of what I blog there is not relevant to the audience. I must come here more often. I must blog here more often. I have the recent excuse I have been away - only works for the last two weeks; more of that later.

"BYELORUSSIAN PRESIDENT"

2006-03-31T19:45:00.000+01:00

Lukashenko - bullet in the head or shotgun blast in the face now - lot cheaper than an invasion and a lot less blood shed than a revolution.

dee too eks

2006-03-09T21:22:00.000Z

I am allergic to film developer. It is something I discovered in school. I was allergic to most of the oils used in metal work as well. The latter did not matter; I never became a metal worker. I did become a professional photographer.

Part of the process was always denied to me, but I was happy with a Leitz projector and Kodachrome Professional.

I used to be a Canon fan. Then one day I sold my Canon FD system and went purist for a while. No lugging a bag of lenses around - just a rugged "compact". A Nikon compact - with a stunning 35mm lens. That and Kodachrome made me money.

Then, eventually, a long time after I got a job with far higher remuneration than your average professional photographer, I decided I missed the options of a decent 35mm SLR and lots of lenses. So I looked at the options: Leica is nice - in the same way as a Rolls Royce; love to have one, but not for everyday use. Contax - I have used professionally with loaned kit - very good, but not state of the art. Olympus - at the time had lost their way. Pentax - not for pros, not these days anyway, Yes, it was Canon or Nikon.

So I tried them out - top of the line. ASM, decent metering, mirror lock-up, depth-of-field preview. Both are good brands. Canon had a wider range of newer lenses. Nikon could use virtually anything with a Nikon mount. Nikon's MMI was more traditional - that is what swung it for me.

So I bought an F5. I have several lenses - the best are Nikon; the others are oddities not available in the Nikon range.

In the meantime I had discovered scanning and Photoshop. Kodachrome had given way to Royal Gold and Supra [negative film has a higher latitude than positive - and if you want it, you can get the slide "look" by manipulating curves]. I was finally in the "darkroom" - albeit digital.

However, something has now happened to "wet film". It is hard to get it developed well. The pros have mostly gone digital. A little while back I costed it out; a new scanner [Scan Elite 5400 II] and three years of film at my current low, amateur, usage versus a new D2x. Did not justify a D2x.

So I wait six months and Nikon annouces the D200 - at a compelling price even before it hits the streets and gets lowered. Time to go fully digital? It seems so. So courtesy of Grays [where else?] I have tried out the D200. Well it is lighter than the F5, and smaller, and almost as solid. It has a stunning imaging chip and all the on-board controls you could need [with the exception of vertical controls that you can get by adding the dual battery pack].

BUT

I don't like the viewfinder. I don't like the screen with the little AF boxes; I miss a proper eyecup; the titchy pentaprism seems too close to the lens [especially with a big, fast, "pukka" lens]. Don't believe everything you read in the press - try before you buy.

I want a D2x. I don't want to pay twice as much as a D200 for it*. I will consider a little more than the list price for a D200 with MBD200. If Nikon brings out the rumoured D3h and prices it between the D2x and the D200 I might just run to it - once the street price starts to bite. Bugger, 'cause I also want one now!

[*On this subject why does eBay continue allow so many scammers? - just ban email addresses inside postings and put these little shits out of business]

World's Shortest Personality Test

2006-01-31T20:58:00.000Z

Thanks to Starlet who in turn thanked Deepblue

Your Personality Profile

You are elegant, withdrawn, and brilliant.
Your mind is a weapon, able to solve any puzzle.
You are also great at poking holes in arguments and common beliefs.

For you, comfort and calm are very important.
You tend to thrive on your own and shrug off most affection.
You prefer to protect your emotions and stay strong.

The World's Shortest Personality Test

Bowing to the inevitable

2006-01-26T07:01:00.000Z

Sir has moved. Now who is going to get the play on words that sound like the name he has in the other place? Am I here and not there. I don't know yet. For now I am in two places at once. But I don't like the way things are going - blogs are dividing the other place and not in a good way. So this is the blog for the rest of me. It will be silly, it will be serious, it will be unconstrained by anyone opinions but my own.